Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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