please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
