it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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