I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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