They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
