what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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