So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
