i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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