i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
