i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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