I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
