I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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