I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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