Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
