remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
two words...techno handjob
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
