Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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