i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
