you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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