dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
