got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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