what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
