I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize