i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
