Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
