apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
