dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
