The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
