Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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