Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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