I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
