His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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