you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
