I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
