He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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