this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
