Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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