You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
