I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
