margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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