My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
