just tell him i said nine months
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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