We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
