He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
