I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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