If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
