I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
