She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
