Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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