Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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