I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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