I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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