Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
