He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
