Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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