real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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