i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
