Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
