3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
